Same Mistakes As His Mother
by TheCocaineDiaries
Summary: All of Will Turner's determination to not be like his mother and fall for a brutish pirate are completely in vain, and he hates it. JackWill. Mature content.
1. Chapter 1

Virginity was something that Will held sacred. His mother had saved hers for his father, and she had influenced her son to believe that it was the kind of thing you gave away to the person you would be together forever with. He had always envisioned giving it away to Elizabeth, the girl he had loved since childhood. When he was sure that she loved him as well, he was ecstatic, because now he knew he would not be making the same mistakes as his mother and letting her virginity be taken by a fearsome pirate.

"Jack…" Will moaned as the man entered him forcefully. He squeezed his eyes shut and dug his fingernails into his back, trying to ignore the pain that came with losing one's virginity.

"Just relax, love," the pirate told him, impatiently waiting for Will to become accustomed to his presence. When the hold on his shoulders loosened, he quickened his pace. The sounds Will was making were mostly unintelligible, so Jack was surprised when he heard words coming out of his mouth.

"Jack…" he started. Something about the tone of his voice made Jack listen carefully. Will sighed. "Do you love me?" he finally asked.

Jack thrust into him harshly. His voice was soft, but honest, as he said, "No."

Will let out a whimper, and Jack was not sure if it was in reaction to pleasure or Jack's answer. Jack felt relief when Will had returned to unintelligible sounds rather than words, and they continued until they both reached their climax. Jack pulled out of Will and lay down next to him, chest rising and falling as he fought to catch his breath. Will turned to the side, facing away from the pirate.

"I love you."

Jack's eyes widened. He lay silent for a few minutes, before closing his kohl-rimmed eyes and sighing slightly. "I know," he said finally.

They lay together quietly until the sweat had disappeared off of both of them and they were breathing evenly again. Jack stood up from the bed to fetch his bottle of rum. Will stayed in the bed, fighting against his tears.

~*~

Sex was not something uncommon on a pirate ship, despite the surplus of men and uncomfortable conditions. Most sex took place after a fair share of rum had been consumed, as the majority of the men onboard were heterosexual and were only looking to another man as a substitute until they returned to shore and it was possible to share a bed with a woman again. So when Will Turner had stepped onto the _Black Pearl_ one day, accompanied by the captain, saying that he was to become a member of the crew as a sword smith, most of the men would have assumed that he and Jack would eventually become intimate, as Jack had long since become indiscriminate about who would lay with him, man or woman, and Will was certainly more handsome and young than anyone else onboard.

Perhaps if one was carefully observing the two men one bright morning they would have guessed that the night before had been their first night in bed. Jack joked and socialized with everyone, including the young sword smith, yet there was nothing special about how he spoke with Will, as though he could have been talking to anyone, and it just so happened to be him.

As the day went on and the men all worked hard to maintain the infamous ship, Jack heard a loud crash coming from below deck, where Will usually worked on his swords. Jack curiously followed the noise and saw Will sitting on the wooden floor, clutching his arm in his hand.

"What have you done?" Jack exclaimed upon seeing the blood gushing from a sharp wound on Will's wrist.

Will looked up at him nervously. "I lost grip of the sword as I was sharpening it," he explained.

"You could have killed yourself, and then all I spent on your food and place on this ship would have been a waste, as you have yet to produce a single decent sword," Jack scolded, uncharacteristically stern.

Will looked as though he might cry. "What do you expect me to say?" he asked.

Jack sighed and rolled his eyes. "You could apologize, and then promise to hold your own weight from now on."

"Fine, then!" Will exclaimed. "I'm sorry."

Jack nodded, satisfied.

"Do you forgive me for falling for you?"

Jack, caught off guard, narrowed his eyes at Will as though he thought him crazy.

"Ever since I've done so I cannot concentrate on my work. So if you are going to forgive me for something, it should be for that," Will explained, head bowed down.

Jack paused, thinking long and hard about how to answer him. He finally said, "Okay, I forgive you," with a forced smile, and retreated up the stairs, leaving Will to hold his head in his bleeding hands, teeth clenched in frustration.

~*~

That next night was the second time Jack and Will were intimate. It was less painful for Will, being recently deflowered, and he was able to enjoy it just a little bit more. When they were finished Jack lay down next to Will and caught his breath, much like the first time.

Will was inwardly furious with himself for being so weakened by his feelings for the pirate. Jack had blatantly rejected him, yet he always still had hope.

Jack stood up, clothes already back on, to get his half-empty bottle of rum from the table. He offered some to Will, holding it out to him, and that was when Will saw the long scar on the palm of his hand, nearly identical to the one on his own hand.

Will declined the offer and stayed silent as Jack guzzled it down.

"Jack?" he finally asked softly. The pirate looked at him over his shoulder. "Why did you take that medallion from the cursed treasure all those months ago? You could have simply left me to return my piece, without the risks of losing it and remaining undead forever."

Jack wiped his mouth as he polished off the bottle. He stood up to get another one.

When Will realized he was not going to answer, he asked, "Well? Why did you do it?"

Jack picked up another, much bigger, bottle, then put it back down, and sighed. Without looking at Will, he said, "Because I would rather walk the earth next to you as a ghost, then go to heaven and never see you again."

Will's eyes widened, but he was not nearly as surprised as he expected to be.

Perhaps all his hope was not completely wasted.

---

A/N: This story is for the 20 Loves challenge on LiveJournal, and each little section is inspired by a prompt. There are three sections in this chapter. To discover what the prompts were look up the community on LJ :].


	2. Chapter 2

That next night was the second time Jack and Will were intimate. It was less painful for Will, being recently deflowered, and he was able to enjoy it just a little bit more. When they were finished Jack lay down next to Will and caught his breath, much like the first time.

Will was inwardly furious with himself for being so weakened by his feelings for the pirate. Jack had blatantly rejected him, yet he always still had hope.

Jack stood up, clothes already back on, to get his half-empty bottle of rum from the table. He offered some to Will, holding it out to him, and that was when Will saw the long scar on the palm of his hand, nearly identical to the one on his own hand.

Will declined the offer and stayed silent as Jack guzzled it down.

"Jack?" he finally asked softly. The pirate looked at him over his shoulder. "Why did you take that medallion from the cursed treasure all those months ago? You could have simply left me to return my piece, without the risks of losing it and remaining undead forever."

Jack wiped his mouth as he polished off the bottle. He stood up to get another one.

When Will realized he was not going to answer, he asked, "Well? Why did you do it?"

Jack picked up another, much bigger, bottle, then put it back down, and sighed. Without looking at Will, he said, "Because I would rather walk the earth next to you as a ghost, then go to heaven and never see you again."

Will's eyes widened, but he was not nearly as surprised as he expected to be.

Perhaps all his hope was not completely wasted.

Jack's confession the night before had sparked a series of conversations between the two pirates. They had stayed in Jack's room all night talking, and took any chance they could get to be together the next day. After dinner, Jack and Will waited for the rest of the crew to leave the table and go back to work. Jack, being the captain and thus in charge of everything that went on on the _Pearl__, _let Will take a break with him.

They had been talking for what seemed like hours when Jack finally asked, "So why _did_ you leave Port Royal to join my crew?"

"I told you," Will started, "Elizabeth was a changed woman when we returned home. She was no longer satisfied with her small life in Port Royal. She went on a voyage to travel the world, and left me behind, so we called off the engagement." He tried to hide the pain in his eyes by turning towards the wall.

"Yes, yes, I know," Jack said. "I mean, why did _you_ leave? You had always struck me as the romantic type to stay with the woman you loved, even if from a distance. She would have returned eventually."

Will chuckled a little bit, and shook his head. "Elizabeth is a beautiful woman. She can make any man's heart melt. Her father is constantly buying her beautiful dresses, and her maids are constantly fixing her hair, and she is constantly looking in mirrors, not in vanity, but so that everyone is assured that she will continue to be this beautiful for years to come.

"But you, Jack, you are dirty, and you walk like you are constantly drunk, and the kohl around your eyes is always smudged down to your cheeks."

Jack stared at him with confused eyes, then looked down to his figure, and shrugged and nodded.

"You are a disgusting pirate and yet your beauty equals, or perhaps is even greater, than that of Elizabeth. You look at me and my heart melts, and you don't even try."

Jack looked at him, puzzled, unsure of whether he was to take his words positively or negatively.

~*~

"Okay, so why did you seek me out when you left Port Royal, and not go somewhere else?"

It was late at night and Jack and Will were heading below deck to go to sleep, continuing one of their many continuous conversations that had stared the night before.

Will sighed, eyes dreamy as he recalled the painful months that resulted in him being with Jack right now. "To be honest, it all started when I helped you escape the hanging. Do you remember?"

"Aye. How does one not remember nearly perishing?"

"I suspected you of all people would forget such a thing, having escaped death so many times," Will said with a shy smile. "Anyhow, that was a very important day for me. That was the day I proposed to Elizabeth."

"Aye, lad, enough about the charming Ms. Swann. Have we not heard enough?" Jack complained, half-serious, as he opened the door to his room.

Will hesitated before following him inside. He frowned, and added, "You did not let me finish. That was the day I proposed to Elizabeth, and my heart should have been filled with joy, and yet I felt like a part of me had gone astray; a part of me I was not even aware existed before I began my quest with you for the _Black Pearl_."

Jack, not quite sure if he fully understood what Will was talking about, collapsed upon his bed, bottle of rum in his hand. He sat up slightly and took a swig of it, his nightly routine. "Continue," he said, throat burning with the bitter taste.

Will nodded and did as he was asked. "I then realized that that same part of me did not wish to return to my life as an apprentice blacksmith and marry my true love. Elizabeth was suffering from the same change of heart, and two people who both wished to be someplace else could not possibly have a happy married life together. When I realized there was nothing left for me in Port Royal, I did not know what else to do but fulfill my desire for adventure that I had developed whilst defeating Barbossa and his men."

Will was neither smiling nor frowning, so Jack was unsure which emotions lay behind his words. "So, you see..." Will continuted. "The day you left I thought I would die. Strange thing was that was when I truly began to live."

Jack grinned indulgently. "Like father like son."

~*~

That night Jack and Will shared Jack's bed again. Once Jack had rolled off of Will and onto his back beside him, catching his breath, same as always, Will asked the same question that he had the first time they had sex.

"No."

Jack's answer was the same. Will felt the hurt hit him like a brick wall, and he stared at the man beside him in disbelief. Somehow, he had really thought that Jack was starting to care for him, even just a little bit.

Jack felt Will's stare on his face and sat up suddenly. "Listen, Will..." he started, voice uncharacteristically harsh. "If you ever cared about me, even for a moment, leave now. Don't look back, just leave. I am not the sort of man an innocent lad like you should care for," he warned him.

Will continued to stare up at him with quivering eyes, and said, "As you wish," before hastily gathered his things and stepped out of the bed. He threw on his clothes and hurried out of the room, not looking back, just as Jack had told him so.

Jack had expected without a single doubt that the morning after he and Will's latest encounter that Will would ignore him, and possibly even ask to leave the ship, as young people like him were exceptionally quick to change their courses of life over and over again, Will definitely not being the exception. However, much to his surprise, Will was every bit as friendly and attentive as any other day. Jack was puzzled, and a little frustrated. After the first meal that he had with the crew, Jack decided to confront Will. As Will was walking toward his workplace below deck, Jack grabbed his arm and he whirled around, startled.

"Why are you still here?" Jack asked him blatantly. "I thought I told you to leave if you still had even a shred of affection for me." His voice was forceful, but also confused, his dark eyes trying to penetrate through Will's chocolate-brown ones, as though attempting to read his mind.

Will stood without flinching, and spoke without hesitance. "Even though you never told me me you loved me, I know you do. I can feel it."

Jack stared at the boy, and with Will's last words, he glanced down at the hand that held onto his wrist, not tightly, but gently, his rough skin almost like a caress. Jack realized what he was looking at, but still did not remove his hand, and they stayed together like that, just staring at each other.


	3. Chapter 3

That night Jack and Will were not having sex. They lay on Jack's spacious bed, kissing, but when Will tried to undo the buckle on Jack's belt, he felt Jack's hands stop him. Will looked at him, puzzled.

Jack seemed uncomfortable and was vaguely looking to the side when he said, "Um. It's okay. You don't have to."

Will frowned. "I want to," he said, and reached for him again, but was stopped once more.

"You don't know what you want, lad," Jack sighed.

"What is that supposed to mean? Do you just not... want it from me anymore?" Will asked, voice wavering slightly, not quite meeting Jack's eyes.

Jack seemed even more uncomfortable and alarmed as he waved his arms, yelling, "No, no!" He tried to find the right words to say, and settled for, "You don't understand, Will. When I took your virginity, I used you. I did it to fulfill my own greedy desires."

Will blinked, stunned. He had never suspected that Jack had ever been too concerned with his, or any of his other sexual partners', feelings, a thought confirmed by the amount of women that slapped Jack across his face every time he visited Tortuga, but it still pained him to hear it aloud. "Why are you telling me this?" he asked weakly.

Jack actually looked sad. "I suppose... I suppose it's because I'm sorry," he admitted, the words sounding odd on his tongue, as he looked away. "I know the only reasons you probably want to have sex with me is because I won't give you any other kind of affection. Other people like you have admitted to it dozens of times before."

Will grimaced at the mention of his previous lovers. "Alright," he said. "Well, I'm still getting used to the idea of being with any human being... especially a man. Just give me more time to see that I'm not like the others," he pleaded.

Jack shook his head. "That's not what I _mean,_ lad," he said. "It's my fault. I'm the one who pushes you until you're like a starving cat begging for the slightest show of kindness. And, quite honestly, I'm not sure if I can change."

Will swallowed the words thickly and stared down at the blanket beneath him. "Why are you telling me these things?" he repeated. "Why are you attempting, and failing, to seem as though you care?"

Jack smiled slightly. "Because you're worth it."

Will turned up to him, eyes wide. They started kissing passionately, and soon Will reached down to unbuckle his belt again. This time Jack let him do it. When they had sex, it felt different, Will noted. It seemed as though Jack was trying harder to make Will feel good, instead of the other way around, as it had always been. There was more foreplay, and when Jack decided to finally go inside Will, he was more cautious, and it did not hurt Will quite as much as their other 's cheeks were hot as he actually enjoyed himself better than before.

Jack had not admitted to caring for Will, but he did not have to. Not yet, anyway.

After that night Will found that sex was actually something he could enjoy, and it wasn't just about pleasing Jack. Of course, pleasing Jack was very important, as he was a man easily distracted, and did not hide boredom easily on his animated face, but it was no longer the only aspect of their sexual experiences.

It was not sex, but rather, love-making, Will thought with a giddy smile, as if he was a young girl with her first crush. Will found that the terribly uncomfortable conditions of the pirate ship were easier to bear now that Jack was starting to show shreds of affection toward Will, slowly, day by day, whether it be a secret smile shared between the two when no one was looking or the gentle touch of his rough hand across Will's cheek late at night when he thought Will was asleep.

The only bad part of Jack's newly discovered softer side was the thought that haunted Will in the back of his mind, right before he went to sleep; that Jack did not care for him the way Will did. Will found it understandable, as after a lifetime of only the sea being his one true love, it would not be easy to commit that same love and devotion to a human being who could never be like the vast and perfect ocean.

One night after having sex, Jack shocked Will when he opened his mouth and spoke the words, "I love you."

Will felt his heartbeat quicken and his palms become sweaty. Instead of joy, he felt only sickness.

"That was a wicked thing to say... because I know you never felt that way."

Will was shocked once again as Jack's dark eyes became impossibly large and vulnerable. He looked at Will for a moment before turning over on his side and blowing out the candle that held the only light in the cabin. They were both pitched into darkness.


End file.
